i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
