I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
