actually, I'm a sock model
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we're making bets on your personal life
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Green mimosas i think yes
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize