I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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