We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Princesses don't give blow jobs
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
