there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
