just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
