True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
