I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
