Don't you send me to vm
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
