eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
