Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
