Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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