I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
