I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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