out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
