he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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