My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
