Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
