I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
