im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
