I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
