I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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