apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
where are you?
Hypothermia
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
