then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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