What did we do last night that was yellow?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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