I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
