You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That's when you crack a 10am beer
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
