me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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