so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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