just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
