i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
