based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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