So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
