walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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