whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
