i think my tv is drunk
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
wow bdsm is so cute
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
