he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
