At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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