What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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