yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
do herpes really smell.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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