I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
