Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
