just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
