There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My balls are so social today.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ladies don't puke and tell
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
