My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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