Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
