I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So many bounce houses so little time
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
