I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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