I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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