Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
