id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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