i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When are your genitals available?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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