your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
