CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
