Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
