yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
