if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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