After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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