As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
