Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
