shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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