Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
