It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
