i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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