NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
